Depression

Nobody believes it's there. I should just shake it off. Yeah right! What do you think? I have been keeping it a pet? Well maybe. But I really really tried to shake it off too. I just don't want to try so hard to get on with a regular life.. I don't like the dumb feeling the blank head, my thoughts racing in every direction at the same time. I don't like the throbbing at the back of my head. I don't wanna stupid cry.

I am little scared to go on the medication. Of the health insurance dilemma. But I so want to be ok so bad. I just want to get myself back. To work at the full of my capability. Oh! How I love that when I can work my best. It's wonderful. I never ever want to slump into that bottom of the pit again where I have to crawl myself out from so very often. I want it to end.